Life Transition: Passing from one stage of development to another

For many people September is a transitional month when we might experience unexpected emotions. Some types of life ransitions we deal with Networks are:

1. Children enter in school for the first time and others leave home for college or a new career. After years of parental supervision, other people will now influence our children. Parents can feel lonely and reluctant to let go.

2. The loss of a job. The resulting financial instability is devastating and often brings up feelings of anger, fear and anxiety.

3. Separation, divorce, prolonged illness or death in the family. Children often struggle to find their place while living with a new blended family or a single parent. Feelings of grief, sadness, loneliness and confusion are common.

4. As children move away from home, parents begin to focus on their own retirement sometimes. Suddenly their own parents and in laws need care. We now become guardians of their parents. This stage can be difficult as it brings up past feelings of joy or grief from our childhood.

Whatever transitions we experience, we need to find healthy outlets. Some people find it through talking to a friend, keeping a journal or even through exercising. Sometimes it helps to express emotions rather than keeping them to ourselves.

If you need additional support to sort through your feelings, professional help is always available.

Living with Teenagers

Parents often feel that their loving and agreeable child has undergone a transformation during the early teenage years. Shifting hormones, increased self-consciousness and other pressures can result in moodiness, irritability, and at times poor judgement. These are trying times for parents. Keeping perspective and a sense of humor are difficult but vital for raising teenagers. While setting limits on unacceptable behavior, parents should let their teenage children know that they care and are willing to listen. If more support/help is needed for you, your teenager or your family, call us at Networks.

Couples Therapy

William Dougherty, Ph.D. states:

“I didn't marry you because you were perfect. I didn't even marry you because I loved you. I married you because you gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it wasn't a house that protected them; and it wasn't our love that protected them---it was that promise”.

Couples therapy focuses on the problems existing in the relationship between two people. It is different from psychotherapy because the relationship is the focus of attention. Couple therapy can also help people who want to strengthen their bonds and gain a deeper appreciation of each other. Even though all couples experience conflict in their relationships, happy couples apparently know how to handle their disagreements in part due to a foundation of affection and friendship.

During times of strife and difficulty couples therapy can address such issues as:

• Infidelity
• Divorce
• Substance abuse
• Physical or mental conditions
• Same-sex relationship issues

• Finances
• Unemployment
• Blended families
• Communication problems
• Sexual difficulties
• Cultural clashes

• Conflicts about child rearing
• Infertility
• Anger
• Changing roles, such as retirement

GRIEF & LOSS

Grief is a normal reaction to loss in our lives. We will all experience grief at some points in our lives, and as difficult as it is, we will usually work through it and perhaps even become stronger as a result. Sometimes, though, if the loss was sudden, or violent, complicated or followed several other losses, we can benefit from counseling, either individually or in a group with others who have had a significant loss. 

Loss in our lives involves more than the loss of a loved one to death. A loss can be experienced after divorce, job termination, moving to a new location, having children grow up and leave home, identity change in retirement, estrangement from family members, and financial setbacks. Having a support system to draw from when these losses occur is ideal, but missing for some people. There is help in counseling to build the support we need.